My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's?
He always burns the franks.
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My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation.
She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her.
The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body.
He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat.
The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations.
When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
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