My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
Vote:
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.
"Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade."
"Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
Vote:
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
Vote:
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Vote:
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
Vote:
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
Vote:
There are only two things to worry about:
Either you are well, or you are sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.
But if your sick, there are two things to worry about.
Either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you die, there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote:
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over.
A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing.
The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over.
The brunette joins her.
Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car.
The blonde watches as the car drives away.
The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
Vote:
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
