My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home."
"That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
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What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic.
Alex was crying very loudly.
Johnny: Why are you crying?
Alex: I came here for a blood test.
Johnny: So? Are you afraid?
Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now?
Johnny: I came for a urine test!
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How can you tell if you have acne?
If the blind can read your face.
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I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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