My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"
"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's okay," said the young man.
"We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A sharp pain in the ass.
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
What did Adam say to Eve?
‘Stand back!
I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!"
Johny: "I have no idea."
Vote: