Joke #2750

My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!

Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.

A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.

You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.