How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ? The stories of whites start: Once upon a time... The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.