What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body. Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asks, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes." "What? He had two assholes?!" exclaims the mortician. "Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.