Joke #5139

What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
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How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Vote: has 57.30 % from 137 votes. Send joke:
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A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before." The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before." The legless man shakes his head again. Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before." The legless man says, "No." The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
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Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."  First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 82.13 % from 283 votes. Send joke:
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
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More jokes about: black humor, lawyer