Joke #5139

What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
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Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
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A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
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Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
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Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military