What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan? A: With a dustpan.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.