Joke #2780

Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
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has 69.39 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: sex

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I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: sex
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
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has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, sex, single
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation. Finally, the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you will ply out of me with liquor." He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place." "Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked. "Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, god, money, sex
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?" He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
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has 75.17 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: bartender, beauty, communication, sex, women
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World. The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen." "Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on." The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, genie, sex, war, wife
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat? By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
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has 58.15 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: sex
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
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has 76.87 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: family, sex
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
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has 80.84 % from 3121 votes. More jokes about: sex
Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’
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has 26.70 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex