One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench.
The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex.
The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night."
The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?"
The little girl replied, "I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!"
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation.
"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.
"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
Mary and Jane are talking.
Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying.
‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane.
‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary.
‘I got pregnant within two months.’
‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane.
‘It didn’t work for us.’
‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary.
‘You have to go alone.’
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.