The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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The wife is back on the warpath again.
I suggested that we make a little sex tape ...
she was up for it ...
until I suggested holding auditions.
I just don’t understand why she is so mad!
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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Two friends:
Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment.
Do you want to come?
Of course! How many people are coming?
Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
I could never fight a gay guy.
I don't know how to start.
"I'm gonna beat your ass...
I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.