The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’
To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night.
‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor.
The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job?
Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with?
Anything for the family.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.
Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies.
"Great," said the teacher, "that's very important."
Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married.
"Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all.
The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education."
"Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’
George Burns