The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping. 
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How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.53 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs.
Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs.
Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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Q: What is height of Suicide?
A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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