The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping. 
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
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Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
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Joke has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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how do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.
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