Joke #2796

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
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Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
Vote: has 85.31 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

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Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before." The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before." The legless man shakes his head again. Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before." The legless man says, "No." The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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