Joke #2796

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote: has 65.13 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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