Joke #2796

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree? A: Cut the rope.
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Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm Mr, Farter. Mr, Farter who? I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"
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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
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Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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