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I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.
How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Q: What are three words you dead the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."
What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?
In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar.
"Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?"
"Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
"A pair of slippers and a dildo?"
"Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "