Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!
"Mommie, Mommie....did you know that nurses can come apart..?" "Well...no. What makes you say that..?" "Because the other night, I overheard Daddy say that he screwed the ass off of a nurse..!"
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. ''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.'' After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
4 reasons why I curse 1) Because I fucking want to. 2) Because I fucking can. 3) Because I don't give a fuck. 4) Because my mom isn't around.
Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass? A: He becomes a toblerone!
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.