Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
He spits on his partners back.
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank?
A: The sperm is handmade.
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been?
Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter.
He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The nun replies: "I poked one once."
St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven."
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once."
"Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven."
Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front.
"Whats wrong?" he asks.
The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy?
Cop: No.
Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?'
Cop: I guess you could...
Me: Goodnight, officer