Joke #2799

Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, "I've got a huge crack." The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."
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Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
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What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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