Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
You come in one and you go in the other!
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
Vote:
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.”
“Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?”
“Back to back.”
“But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.”
“Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."