Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?
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Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow."
The next day she came in wearing black!
When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?
A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her.
The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
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