Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?
Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing".
Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
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Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard .
Does any one know what that is?
"Yes," says Tommy.
"My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "what we are going to do today class is, I am going to give you a letter and I want someone to raise their hand and if l call on you l want you to give me a word that begins with that letter. So The teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say asshole so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple."
"Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B"
Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and says "please please pick me" so the teacher thinks for a moment and inside her head knows he'll say bitch or bastard, so she skips over Little Johnny and calls on Little Brad and Little Brad replies "boat."
"Very good Brad" the teacher says. "Now how about C" the teacher asks.
Immediately Little Johnny's eyes light up and this time says "oh pick me, pick me l know one" the teacher instantly goes right to Little Bobby and he says "car."
"That's a good one Bobby."
So the teacher does the same thing with the letter D and ignores Little Jonny raising his hand.
Now the teacher says "You're all doing a great job class, how about E" this time Little Johnny stands up waving his arms begging for a chance.
So the teacher pauses for a solid 10 to 15 seconds and can't think of one bad word that begins with the letter E.
So she reluctantly calls on Little Johnny and Little Johnny very nicely and calmly says "Elephant" and before the much-relieved teacher can even exhale, Little Johnny puts both hands up out in front of himself approximately two feet apart and yells out "with a fucking cock this big!
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
( boy 1 ) : you need to say what ever i say in backwards.
( boy 2 ) : okay.
( boy 1 ) : A B C
( boy 2 ) : C B A
( boy 1 ) : 1 2 3
( boy 2 ) : 3 2 1
( boy 1 ) : okay lets make this harder : CRACK MY FINGER
( Boy 2 ) : Finger my crack .
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?"
"So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.