Joke #2801

Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
Vote:
has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?" Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?" Customer: "No, I can’t." Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
What has a head, a tail, and no body? A coin!
Vote:
has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
Vote:
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, life
Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is no cure for stupidity...
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: life
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Vote:
has 67.29 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
Vote:
has 26.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote:
has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
Vote:
has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fat, life