Daddy to his son:
I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend?
A: He wiped his bottom.
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Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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Joke has 71.35 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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