Joke #2892

There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!
Vote: has 23.03 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him. After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down. He notices that the alien has no genitalia. He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?" The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
Vote: has 63.21 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, sex
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man." And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, new year, wife
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
She only drinks to forget she drinks.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?"
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bartender
The Australian rugby team is being driven through Dublin. The driver shouts out, ‘And if you look to your left you’ll see we’re going past the biggest pub in the city.’ A voice from the back shouts, ‘Why?’
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, "How is this possible?" The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol