Joke #2936

Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.83 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
Vote: has 81.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, kids
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Vote: has 84.73 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: catholic, kids, work, Yo mama
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, kids
When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
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How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
Vote: has 49.25 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: history, kids