Joke #2936

Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids

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I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
What kind of rocks do young geologists play with? Marbles.
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has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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has 37.83 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football, kids
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
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has 75.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: kids, priest