When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.
The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?"
Voice: "This is my father."
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort.
The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill.
He stopped indignant there and told to the child:
"You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do."
"I told them, sir."
"Well, what did they reply?"
"Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."