One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''