Joke #2945

One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."

Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!

Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.

An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"