Joke #4957

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.

Q. How does a frog confuse you? A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.

"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.

An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"

Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!

Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.

Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.

A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"