Joke #2957

What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"
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A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. Then the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. "Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"
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More jokes about: kids
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote: has 68.04 % from 148 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
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More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. He saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Vote: has 53.07 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, time