Joke #2958

Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
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has 31.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever. One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever." Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;  "So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!" Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"
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has 69.92 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny, school, sex
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids, tax
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 63.36 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
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has 29.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her." Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
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has 84.96 % from 1696 votes. More jokes about: dating, kids, marriage, sex, time
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dentist, game, kids
Yo Momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama