Joke #3049

Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.
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has 27.88 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dentist, kids
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
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has 83.13 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: kids, music, women
Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious. A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day. She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom. After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering. Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?" "Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered. Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didn’t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."
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has 81.89 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: kids
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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has 71.09 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids, political
He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids