Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
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What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
