Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
Why do cows like being told joke? Because they like being amoosed.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.