Joke #10596

Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?" Me: "John" Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have." Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know? A lot?" Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
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has 81.41 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, money
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.14 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
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has 65.61 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
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has 14.73 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal