What do golfers use in China?
China tees!
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What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Three heavyweight men; an American, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The American jumped off and shouted "God save America!"
The English man jumped off and shouted "God Save The Queen!"
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted "God save the person who I land on!''
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight."
The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again."
A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?"
"This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."