Joke #3421

A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.

Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!

I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"

A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."

What games do ants play with elephants? Squash!

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.