Joke #3421

A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket. "What is that?" she asks. "Those are my golf balls." "Is that like tennis elbow?"

Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.

A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.

Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!

Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.

Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"

Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."

Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?

There are these two guys named John and Cliff. They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard. They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not. One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man. The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend. "Hi, John.”" "Cliff, is it really you?" "Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news." "Okay. What’s the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven." "The bad news?" "You’re pitching tomorrow night."

Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters? 3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!