Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
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The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day.
The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
What do golfers use in China?
China tees!
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.
Why are black people so good at Basketball?
Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
Vote:
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."