What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers? Prison Warden.
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words: The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"