What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
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Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer?
The torturer would apologize first.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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