A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england? A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’
A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself." The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Q: Why can't white people swim? A: Cause they get soggy.
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise!
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.