What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
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Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman next to him.
I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him.
"What are your celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said.
For my husband and I have been trying to have a child.
Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote:
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote:
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!