What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart.
I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.