What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"