When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
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What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees
The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many" I said.
"That one is a freebie"
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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