What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
(Try saying that fast!)
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote:
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue.
Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand.
The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
Dog rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.
Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow.