A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says.
"He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
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Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games?
A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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