Joke #3150

John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman. One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere... The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
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has 80.59 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: desert island, ethnic, men, women
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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has 82.83 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
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has 84.94 % from 865 votes. More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship