Joke #3150

John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote: has 84.80 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, masturbation, men
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, men
What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men