John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
Three couples are having a picnic.
One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey."
The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar."
Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...