Joke #3150

John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that." "Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Vote: has 86.53 % from 485 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote: has 83.87 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men