How do you know if your man is dead?
The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms.
Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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