How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.