If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
What does a man call true love? An erection.
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.