Joke #7944

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.

Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.

Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.

After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.