If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
What do you call a woman that works like a man?? Lazy.