Joke #1537

What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men

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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey? He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
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has 79.71 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, wife
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, work
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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has 82.19 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: men
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women