What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
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Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired."
Everyone laughed.
The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone.
He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"