What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
After an accident...
1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient.
"In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional."
With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen.
It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.
The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria.
"I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again.
Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen" said Bob.
How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum.
"That looks nasty," says the doctor.
"Nasty?" the man says.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open.
As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground.
As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game.
After answering all the questions, there is a tie.
So both are given one final assignment.
It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu".
It is city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory.
But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three women cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "