Joke #3151

Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.

Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.

Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.

Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.

There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.

Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.