Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Q: How do you piss off a man?
A: Stand on his back and piss.
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A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons,
I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.
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Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.