Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
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What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
First the good news.
I have given you a brain and a p***s.
The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
A man is talking to God.
"God, how long is a million years?"
God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."
"God, how much is a million dollars?"
"To me, it's a penny."
"God, may I have a penny?"
"Wait a minute."
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.