Joke #1484

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

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What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.79 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 80.11 % from 381 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
If you catch a man…throw him back.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men