Joke #1484

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men, weather
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.77 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: gay, men, relationship
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp. When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.." The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area." "Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..." The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?" The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
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has 82.13 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: men