Joke #3159

The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
Vote:
has 81.85 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: cop

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
Vote:
has 20.97 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctors appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. She looks at her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He said he stopped you for speeding." The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say? The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license." The women hands the officer her license and he sees that she is from his old home town. The officer tells the couple that he remembered the town because he had the worst sexual experience of his life there. The women looks at her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He says he knows you."
Vote:
has 78.69 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: cop, doctor, driving, husband, sex
Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"
Vote:
has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop
An old couple gets pulled over and... Lady cop:"May I see you license and registration sir?" Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?" Old wife:"She needs to see you license and registration dear." The old man hands it to the lady cop and... Lady cop:"Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had." Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?" Old wife:"Nothing dear, she thinks she used to know you."
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop, couple, love, old people
Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
Vote:
has 76.81 % from 668 votes. More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote:
has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, cop
How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
Vote:
has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.
Vote:
has 77.94 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cop, death
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop