The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror.
“How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer.
“Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car.
“Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer.
“Wait’ll my family finds out.”
“Where’s your family?”
“They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.
Vote:
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.
She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back."
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do.
Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
Man: You've brought religion into my life.
Woman: Really? How?
Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas.
They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately.
The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job.
Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert.
Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around.
Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street.
The driver rush to the scene.
He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."