Joke #3253

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over", he said.
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Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
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A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
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When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
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What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.
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Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common? A: No Cubs
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Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
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Paddy asks Murphy, 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?" Murphy replies, "If they fell forwards they'd still be on the f*cking boat!"
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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