Joke #1996

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

A man is participating in a golf tournament. He was left to golf with just his caddy. On his tee-off, the golfer's ball lands in a patch of buttercups. The caddy tells the golfer he can take the ball onto the course, and he won't take a one stroke penalty. However, the golfer refuses and takes the ball out of the buttercups and takes the stroke penalty. Suddenly, Mother Nature appears. "What you just did was amazing. I am so proud that you enjoy nature and all of its beauty. For your reward, I will give you a lifetime supply of butter." "Thanks," says the man. "But where were you last week when my ball landed in the pussywillows?"

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"

Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place? Well, it could have been worse. How? There could have been more teams in the league!

Why did the captain lose the yacht race? He found himself in a no-wind situation.

What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.

Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.

I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.

Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.