The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
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PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me."
Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?"
Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."
When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.
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What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream?
Aston Vanilla.