Joke #3266

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men

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Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
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has 83.19 % from 1435 votes. More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
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has 69.60 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay, men
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
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has 69.29 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT." On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note: Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: 1) it had never been occupied 2) that there was plenty of heat 3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is heat if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is, indeed, of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please don’t blame the landlady!
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has 83.75 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, money, women
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, men, music