Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
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Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building.
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me."
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
Translator.
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down.
She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door.
When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?"
"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."
The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer.
"Okay," she says.
After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her.
So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"
They say, "Huh?"
She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers."
She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long.
Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.
Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?"
"Yeah," says Luke, "I remember."
"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed.
"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."
"Me neither," says Jed.
"Let's take these things off."
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go?
A blonde at a flashing red light!
A blond was taking a shower and her husband called in and asked "did you find the new dry hair shampoo I picked up for you?"
And the blond replied "yes but there's a problem I already got my hair wet"
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.
He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway.
She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."