Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes? A: "Toes go in first."
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.