Joke #5531

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert. A genie appears and gives each of them one wish. The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away. The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home. The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, genie, ginger
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!" He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face. "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!” “How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
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has 84.19 % from 349 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, fitness
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over. “May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop. Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”
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has 81.71 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
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has 13.56 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde