Joke #3355

What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
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Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
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Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.
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A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamt that Venus was strokin' his penis And woke with a handfull of goo
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What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
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Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
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